Saturday, September 12, 2015

Anxiety and school

Hello friends!
Long time no see!
How are you?

First of all I would like to
Apologize for being so inactive on my blog.
There's plenty of items I've tried and reviewed and need to post.
I will do so as soon as possible.

Last time I posted,
I believe it was about my boyfriend finally coming back from Hong Kong!
Well he came back with plenty of gifts for me
The sweetie brought me dolly wink lashes and a super cute sailor moon eyeliner
which i will be posting about soon!
He also brought me back 
a big cony and brown!
They currently dominate my bed along with my other bear I received on Valentine's day

I'm really happy that my boyfriend is now back
because it was really lonely without him
since I don't really have much of a social life
he is practically my best friend.
I'm a really shy person and on top of that antisocial
so I don't really have much friends and I don't hang out with them.
I think socializing is really tiring and I rather be home at my own comfort.
I know it's bad but I can't help it.

Besides this I've also started school.
I'm going everyday which is very very tiring.
I go Monday, Wednesday, Friday for my Chinese class only.
However I do enjoy my language classes a lot so I really don't mind sacrificing my days for them.
I'm taking linguistics, and a geology class and lab on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
I made friends quite quickly in linguistics class since we always work in groups.
The class has a very pleasant aura and it's in taught in English which is a big relief to me
since I taken the class in Spanish and it was impossible for me to understand despite the fact that my Spanish should be better than my English.
My geology class is a piece of cake and I'm glad that I don't
have to cut open innocent animals.
We have really difficult math which i'm stressing and struggling with but
it's a small price to pay to not hurt animals.

Everything is going very well and yet I been feeling
in very very low moods.
I been stressing over the week even though I know it's not going to be a big deal,
i just go and sit through the class but I always get anxious and stressed.
On top of that I had been dealing with low self esteem to the point I didn't want to look at myself
but I'm feeling better.
Somehow although it doesn't affect me directly I've been depressed about the things going on in the world like the people from Syria and middle east places running to Europe to find safety.
I'm just so sad and I cannot even imagine how much suffering they're going through. They're human beings that don't deserve to be going what they go through. I saw that reporter tripping that poor man with his child and it made tear up and so disappointed in humanity. It pained my heart so much and I wish I could open the doors to my house to them. They're surely on my prayers and hope things can get better for them.
If there is a donation site going on for them that WILL go to them please do let me know.
This may not affect me directly but I do feel for them, I do care about them because I put myself in their shoes and I wouldn't want anyone to go through it.
I hope and pray these people can find shelter, food and water and that their children do not get harmed.

There's also the abortion ordeal and animal farm rights that has being upsetting me 
making me feel disappointed in humanity and not wanting to live in the world.

I know it sounds silly to be depressed over things that don't exactly hurt me directly but 
the world right to me seems so dark and cruel that makes me so disappointed and disgusted.

Let's pray for a better tomorrow.

Leaving that to the side,
I've started watching fear the walking dead!
Truthfully I hate things that are bloody and violent but I became such a big fan of the walking dead 
(even though it hurt my heart when the zombies devoured the poor horse..haha i cried!)
So I had to watch Fear the walking dead.
Many people are not so pleased with it but I think the show going slow 
is actually pretty exciting!
It was really evil that they didn't broadcast on Labor Day 
as I was looking forward to it.

and getting into the walking dead..
(I'm so random and change subject quickly! sorry!)
I've got a lot to say about the video
"Dear fat people" by Nicole Arbour.
If you haven't watched this video,
don't watch it.
You will waste your time.
It's just a girl bitching.
Pardon my bad words but I have to get this out of my heart!
People who agree with her sicken me.
This is my view on such sick and disgusting video.

The whole video was her basically bitching.
Fat people..
how dare they look at my ~*~celebrity self~*~ 
they smell like sausages!
Going as far as saying that fat shaming isn't a thing and that it isn't bullying 
or something in that manner.
I can't recall.
Thing is that not everyone who has a thicker figure than yours has diabetes or any type of diseases tied to obesity.
There's people who are thicker than you but they are perfectly healthy.
It is obvious this girl never struggled with her weight.
It is just the same for a thin person. Just because she/he is very thin doesn't mean they're unhealthy. 
That's just how their body is.
When I was in middle school I used to be very thin.
I never had school lunch because I was disgusted by it so whenever it was lunch time
I wouldn't grab a tray.
There was a lady who was friend's with my mom who would tell my mom and my mom
would nag at me because the lady wouldn't leave her alone about it 
Even though I was perfectly healthy.
Not only that, some girls actually made up things about me going the restroom to throw up
so I could be thin.
When really I would eat the whole refrigerator once i got home from school.
You guys also seen me as well, I have some chubbs in my body.
So to come back to the main point...
Body shaming is never right whether is towards thick figures or thin figures.
You cant judge someone by their body type.
Nicole Arbour could've worded it out better
like this man,

I did not agree fully but he wasn't 
offensive and as disgusting as Nicole.
That's the difference between him and Nicole.
Nicole took it to a whole different level
of bitching about overweight people
because they bug HER and sit next to HER
look at HER and smell like sausages.
Plus even brought color skin into the picture.
She was rude and disgusting 
and I'm pretty sure she did it for attention.
As said earlier, she also shouldn't judge that just because someone
has a thicker figure than her that they right away are suffering of diseases like
Fat shaming IS a thing, Body shaming IS a thing they both encourage
 eating disorders, bullying and suicide and cause low self-esteem.
If you're such a strong person that you took it into your own hands
to lose weight..good for you!! 
That is great!!
However other people aren't as strong receiving negativeness and might resort to eating disorders or suicide.
No that's not weak nor lazy,
that's just how some people deal with some things because they see no other solution.
Personally I find everyone beautiful no matter their physical appearance.
Someone who has respect and treats everyone nicely 
is a beautiful person.

That is all I've got to say.
God bless you.
Let's all pray and send good vibes to the refugees.

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