Sunday, May 25, 2014

Heart to Heart: Self-Esteem & Loving yourself

                                            Have you ever sat and wondered why is it 
that your special someone chose you?
Or came across a beautiful girl and asked yourself
that your special someone should have ended with such beautiful girl like her
instead of  you?
Yeah tonight is not a nice night. 
My self-esteem is in the dumps.

Now with all honesty i'm not fishing for compliments because this is how i really feel. I feel ugly and since a young age i been feeling like so.

I don't mean to run a pity show but since 3rd grade my classmates made me feel ugly. I ran the "ugly girl" nickname up to middle school. I got treated like poop by others and sometimes not even as a girl.
I remember a guy in my 7th grade class that ripped my love letter to him in my face in front of other people.
Hi Steven L. I see you. 
Hahaha just kidding. 
But i honestly felt so ugly and defeated after middle school.
It was until high school that my older sister applied make-up on me. It felt so magical because no one treated me badly or laughed at me. 
Oh yeah hold on Steven L. did laugh at my make up the first day of school.
Haha i'm just kidding once again,
but you see these sort of stuff a girl or a boy doesn't forget
and you must not joke or anything about these sort of things
because you can scar someone for life specially their self esteem.
In my case, i think i annoy a lot of people when they compliment me
because i don't believe it.
It's just so hard for me to after all that.
I see my reflection in the mirror and i despise all of it.
I can't feel beautiful ever to myself.

Now i know i'm not the best person to be saying all of these stuff but i know that just like me there's girls and boys out there who are probably feeling the same way as me.
So here are some positive words for myself and your heart.

You're beautiful
Now beauty isn't just about appearances.
Beauty is having scars
Your struggles
Your experiences
Your mistakes
Your flaws
and so on are your beauty.

If someone chose you it's because you have something others don't
And that girl/boy you think is so beautiful
they're probably in the same boat as us.

We have the eyes to see the beauty of others and the world
but not our own beauty.
But other people will see your beauty and whether you believe or not
You're a beautiful human being.

You are authentic, there's no one like you
You feel, think, react, dream differently from others
You are you and to wish to be someone else
is to waste the person you are.
Value yourself and only let people treat you 
like you're someone from royalty.

Next time you look in that mirror
Smile at yourself
wear all the make up you want
play with your hair
dress up
take pictures

Do what makes you happy and comfortable 
and most importantly be you.

I hope you guys are feeling better than I'm today.