Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Negative views.

I noticed I'm on this site that exposes photoshops, liars, scammers ect.
So I thought I'll address some stuff.

I knew this day would come and It's okay.

Do I Photoshop?
Yes i most definitely do photoshop. I photoshop really badly but it doesn't matter to me. I just want to feel pretty in the picture. Do I know that's not me? Absolutely.
I'm aware that the photoshop version of me isn't me but someone I want to look like.
I always been obsessed with my nose being big as to why i photoshop it.

I know i photoshop my nose in such ridiculous way but I really hate my nose.

Admitting to photoshopping is something that is hard? I feel very embarrassed about it but at the same time i can't stand seeing my big nose and that is why i continue it.
I know my reasons as to photoshopping is not something one should photoshop and that is fine..you have your own personal opinions and I have mine.
From my nose it moved to other places in my face as well, I just became so addicted to photoshopping myself.
However I do not deny that is me in those pictures.
Whether i like it or not it's me! Too bad.

Here's a photoshop free picture i really like of myself.
You can clearly see here I'm not what I'm in my pictures!
I don't want to trick people into thinking that my photoshop pictures are me.


I began photoshopping myself around 2012 maybe? 
But yes I don't deny photoshopping myself.
I do play with the lighting too!
and all that good stuff.
Some pictures my face will be whiter because of lighting too or flash!
Also I'm not very good with make up and I think my foundation is a lighter shade?
But I'm a beige tone? I'm kinda tanned ^^;

Other Accusations:
I don't want to start with "I was young and dumb...."
I admit my mistakes. 
When I was younger I came to live in a place I didn't know the language of and I think many of us can relate to this. They made me  feel and think that my race was to be embarrassed of and made it difficult for me to group myself with my own people and while this is not an excuse I'll like to use to get me off the hook I'll like to think that is why i lied back then.
I was this super Otaku girl obsessed with Asian music, fashion, culture ect.
I wanted to be them too...so i lied which was a dumb thing to do and i regret with all my heart.
I knew the consequences... my friends, love interests and so on think I was this person.
It sucked but 1-2 years ago something happened to me and I began controlling myself though I really haven't come out to the light and admit because of fear and cowardness. 
Many of you already guessed my ethnicity right! I'm indeed as you guessed hispanic.
*Note* the lady in the picture is indeed my mother. My mother's family has some chinese. But as 

regarding me I'm hispanic. People deserve what they deserve and I'm willing to take what's coming my way but please do leave out my family and loved ones and concentrate your negativeness feelings/hatred towards me.
That's all i ask for.
Whoever took those pictures out of my sister's profile obviously knows me and my name.
Keep revealing as you wish, but again please keep my family out of it.
I don't want my family to be the laughing stock because of my mistakes.
Another thing is that I was on GS. I did blast someone i disliked because of what she had said about what is attractive and what was not. I disliked her for that and did that. I was rude,stupid, immature for doing that and a coward.
Sorry to have disappoint you. I'm not who i seemed to be. I'm not someone to look up to. I'm not the pretty girl you think I was. I'm nothing but a girl with photoshop and a big dumb mouth.

I don't want to continue this ridiculous version of me.
It's going to take me a while to stop the photoshopping
but I hope you understand.
I know i don't deserve a drop of pity or mercy but if it was possible to remove my real name it would please me. I just don't want people lurking my family.
Thank you.

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